Nitong mga nakaraang araw, napapansin ko ang mga kaibigan kong namomobroblema sa kanilang buhay pag-ibig. marami silang katanungan na sila mismo ay hindi malaman ang sagot at dahilan. kaya bigla kong naisipang magblog dahil sa kanila. =))
PS: press to play. para pwedeng mag-emote habang nagbabasa :P
BAKIT BA GANITO?
bakit ba ganito nararamdaman ko? naiinis ako.naaasiwa ako. kinikilig ako. natutuwa ako. naiiyak ako. natutuwa ako pag kasama kita. kinikilig ako pag kausap kita. pero bakit ganon? naiinis ako pag kasama mo SIYA hindi ako selfish hindi ako madamot at mas lalong hindi ako nagseselos. nakakaiingit lang dahil mas malapit ka sa kanya , eh kung iisipin mas nauna tayong nagkakilala. bakit ngayon parang balewala nalang ako? nagkakaganito ako dahil sayo.
kilala mo lang ako pag may kailangan ka nilalapitan mo lang ako pag gusto mo ng kausap naglalambing pa pag inaasar tayo ...at nagpapa-uto naman ako para sakyan ang trip mo ang nakaka-asar pa dun, hindi ko kayang magalit sayo.
pagkatapos kitang pahiramin ng jacket ko.. makinig sa mga kwento mo.. sumakay sa trip mo tapos babalewalain mo lang ako.
minsan hindi ko maintindihan ang gusto mong sabihin hindi ko ma-gets ang mga ikinikilos mo naguguluhan ako.
manhid ka. alam mo yun? alam mong gusto kita natatakot lang ako aminin kasi ayaw kong i-pusta ang pagkakaibigan natin ayaw kong kamunghian mo ako ayaw kong iwasan mo ako hahayaan ko nalang mabaon ang nararamdaman ko. pipikit nalang ako para di ko makita. magbibingi-bingihan nalang ako para di ko marinig at magtatanga-tangahan nalang ako para di mo pansin.
ang masaklap dito, hindi ko kayang magalit sayo hindi ko kayang magselos dahil wala akong karapatan SINO LANG BA AKO SAYO? hindi mo naman ako girlfriend. classmate mo lang ako, sa madaling salita.. KAIBIGAN mo lang ako at hanggang dun nalang yun. dinadaan ko nalang ang lahat sa biro, pero nasasaktan ako. seryoso
bakit kasi IKAW pa? nasasaktan ako sa ginagawa mo. alam kong wala akong aasahan dahil may iba ka na.. hindi rin ako humuhingi ng kapalit gusto ko lang sabihin na gusto kita ganon ka-simple. ...at magkikita nanaman tayo bukas sasaktan ko nanaman ang sarili ko pero ayos lang, IKAW naman yan eh.
alam mo yun? i feel that i don't have the right to be sad kasi i got everything that i wanted(emotionally). err. it's weird. i was so happy yesterday tapos ngayon sobrang nakakalungkot talaga.
i was really happy yesterday because Ernest surprised me by picking me up sa school. I told him not to kasi sayang sa pamasahe(since nag-increase na), but he insisted. at 12:40 pm, i asked him where he was because i was still inside the classroom. I told him to wait for me, then he said na he would stay sa MINISTOP. i asked him which MINISTOP coz my school is sourrounded by lots of MINISTOP. :)) when i was about to go out of my building, i saw his car parked opposite my building near MINISTOP. hahahaha. i was surprised. seriously.
i was supposed to introduce him to my friends since all of them were in IMNO (too bad, i missed our block inuman AGAIN.), sayang walang parking. so umuwi nalang kami :P . we were supposed to eat at PIZZA HUT kasi i was craving for CHEEZY POPS. hahaha. so he promised me na we'll have our lunch there ♥ . unfortunately, mama texted me and told me to go straight to Philam kasi she's watching Alon's school program. So instead of eating sa PIZZA HUT, we ended up watching Alon's dance =)) although im a bit disappointed kasi i wasn't able to eat CHEEZY POPS. boo.
After Alon's program, we went home, then played with Alon for a little bit.. then we played PSP =)) ayun, basta ganon :D when he left my house, he texted me if he could drop by again, he wants me to meet his pamangkins :P hahaha. weird. :))
after he left, i felt kinda sad and EMPTY. seriously. di ko alam yung reason kung bakit. hanggang ngayon. ang bigat ng feeling.
[wait. kakatawag lang niya, he told me na he can't find his phone. boo.]
grr. ewan ko talaga. nalulungkot akoooooo.
minsan sa buhay, kailangan mong malungkot para malaman mo na hindi lahat ng oras kaya mong idaan ang lahat sa tawa.
umuwi ako ng maaga. excited at nagbabakasakali di ko inalintana ang lakas ng ulan o ang pagkasira ni Mr. Payong akala ko magkikita tayo akala ko namimiss mo ako pero akala ko lang yun hanggang pag-uwi ko umasa parin ako. umasa na magpapakita ka sa pinto pero hanggang asa lang ako. tapos ang maririnig ko lang sayo.. "SORRY PAGOD AKO" pagod din ako at nagtanga-tangahan nanaman ako.
nakakabaliw. ang sarap mag laslas. puta.
Monday, July 14, 2008, 3:59 AM
naiinis ako.
hindi kami nagkita ng 1 linggo. ewan ko. naiinis ako kasi hindi naman "reasonable" yung mga rason niya. ilang beses niyang sinabi na busy siya kasi mag-aaral siya pero HINDI NAMAN.
i called him kanina after his class then asked him kung nasan siya. he told me na he was at the mall with his classmates. MALAMANG may girls siyang kasama. what's worse is that he bought his car with him (isipin mo nalang kung sinong katabi niya).
HINDI AKO NAGSESELOS. NAIINIS LANG.
after nun, i was checking my friendster then i checked his. tinignan ko yung profile nung classmate niya then checked HER photos. i saw a picture of them at my boyfs house.
i was like.. HOLYYY EFFF. NAGPUNTA NGA PALA SILA DUN.
bakit ba ako naiinis? ewan ko talaga. parang nung friday lang nung huli kaming nagkita, tapos super namimiss ko na talaga siyaaaa. di ko talaga alam kung anong problema ko. kasi naman ganito yun:
July 4 -- FRIDAY it's his birthday. He surprised me by picking me up at school (o dba? sosyal? siya pa yung sumundo at nag surprise sakin :p). Then we went straight home then watched dvds. after his long stay, my mom decided to ask him if he would like to join us for dinner since susunduin din namin sister ko. Tapos ayun, (first family dinner w/ him sa labas :)). Then he went home. super saya ko talaga that day. as in.
July 5 -- SATURDAY meron siyang pasok. Then he and his blockmates went to the wake of their lolo's classmate. siguro mga 2:30 yun, i told him to call me up if he's not busy anymore. Sumapit ang 4:00 wala parin, nakatulog nako sa kaiintay. tas mga 10:30 he said na super sleepy na siya kasi pagod.
July 6 -- SUNDAY walang kwenta. ewan ko kung nag usap ba kami ng matino o naglokohan lang kami. July 7 -- MONDAY i texted him this morning, then tried calling him up during his break [pero walang sagot]. Then i texted him mga 4:30 kasi i was really worried na baka abutan siya ng ulan sa labas. tapos ayun mga 6 pm nako natext.
i "buzzed" him sa ym and sinabi ko na namimiss ko na siya, tapos sinagot lang niya ako ng "Hun, sorry, overload"
okaaaaay. mag-iintay nalang ako.
ang sabi nga nung gepsych teacher ko, "hindi ka pa ready magmahal kung sarili mo lang iniisip mo."
hindi ako selfish. nakakapanibago lang. hahaha HINDI AKO SELFISH.
namimiss ko lang talaga siyaaa. badtrip.
AKO YUNG NASE-STRESS SA KANYA.
i miss you hun :(
Wednesday, July 2, 2008, 6:28 AM
i miss..
i just miss them so much :(
i miss my boy
-even if i get to see him once a week, it still feels different. I MISS HIM SOOO MUCH.
i miss my girls
-after 35 years. hahaha. I'll be seeing them soon (Kaye's debut). I miss them to bits and pieces. i miss their laugh, jokes, hirit and chichis :D i can't wait to see them :P
i miss Alon.
-ALON IS LOVE. he's such a talented boy. he knows how to sing BAHAY KUBO. hahaha. how i wish i could see him every now and then :P
. seventeen. taken. blogger. vain. college. internet freak. moody. loves her family.loves the beach. bum. has a thing gor vintage shirts :D. funny. JOKERRR.
lalalaloves TINKERBELL.DLS-CSB taking up ABMMA. flip. unlitxt20. stalk.♥♥♥♥
